Recently I watched “Think Like a Man” the movie adapted from the book by Steve Harvey.
Here are my biggest take-aways from this movie:
- Have Standards
Here is the simple truth about dating and relationships. You are treated as well or as poorly as you allow yourself to be treated.There was a scene in the movie where the “player” got in his car without opening the door for his date. She said I don’t go out with men who do not hold the door open for me. He took off down the street, but came back and opened up the door for her.
Did she berate him? Did she stay silent and hold it against him later?
Did she overlook it because he was cute and she did not want to “blow her chances”?
No she politely set her standard and then said “thank you” when he opened the door for her.
Many women today complain that men are no longer gentleman. Most of those women have put up with a lot of bad behavior from men. It is much easier to complain and blame the man, then to set standards and require your dates to meet them.
- The 90 Day Rule
Steve Harvey says women should wait 90 days before becoming intimate with a man.While I feel this is a bit rigid, I do think it is a requirement to take your time getting to know someone and to wait until you are in a committed relationship prior to having sex.
Why?
Because most women have sex only when they really like a man. And if you are totally honest with yourself, if you really like a man you want more than just sex.
Men have sex and maybe it will turn into a relationship or maybe they just want to have sex. But just because a man has sex with you, this in no way means he is committed to you.
Again, if you are being totally honest with yourself, you probably don’t feel very good about yourself after the fun is over and you are home alone waiting for the next “booty call”. (don’t miss taking out the “has”)
- Strong, Independent Women in Relationship
In one of the stories a beautiful, power woman inadvertently looking for a CEO type man falls for an unemployed line cook. He treats her well, cooks for her, they have great sex and a good connection but she is not interested in him for a serious relationship because he has no money.This is the first time in history of the world that women have the opportunity to be a CEO and can actually make more money than a man.
If you are a smart successful accomplished woman, congratulations! What a great accomplishment. But after all the years of being a perfectionist and pushing yourself to get ahead, it can be easy to forget how to relax and receive.
And the same qualities that make you a successful business woman are qualities that may stand in the way of receiving love.
Allow the man to take charge of the date, pick the restaurant, pick up the bill.
Be grateful, be polite, not too picky, too demanding or being the one in control.
Focus on the qualities you really require in a man. That he loves you, is committed to you. That he is respectful, treats you well, is thoughtful of your needs, and takes care of you. And allow yourself to receive this.
In the movie, even though she was the “power broker” he brought a lot to table in the relationship that she lacked.
As Steve Harvey demonstrated, there is someone for everyone.
Set your standards politely and with class. Know the qualities that are really important in relationships take your time before becoming intimate and getting too attached.
Treat yourself well and allow the men in your life to treat you well and you can’t lose.