Coping with the “One Who Got Away” Syndrome?
I have been talking to a lot of you about your biggest obstacle to having the relationship you really want.
What I have been hearing over and over is how hard it is to find the right guy.
Many of you have been meeting men, but no one you really like. And then when you do meet someone you feel a connection with, he disappears.
And you are left wondering what happened. Why when you finally made a connection with someone did it not work out.
The worst thing about this experience is that it leaves you wondering if you did something wrong.
And months later you are still thinking about “the one that got away”.
I know how heartbreaking it can be to make a real connection with someone and then have them walk away.
And although you still long to meet your life partner and share your life with someone, you are feeling a little gun shy because you never want that to happen again.
So is it your fault? Did you do something wrong?
You will not accomplish much in life or love without taking risks. And when you first start doing something new, dating, setting your intention to find love, you may stumble and you may hit some rough spots in the road.
The worst thing you can do after one or two bad dating experiences is to get discouraged and give up. Or judge your worth or your value based on this one experience with this one guy.
But here’s the thing, there is a way to protect your heart while still being open to love. You really have no idea what is going with the other person until you get to know him and understand his life experience. You only know your own interpretation of what happened.
In his Conversations with God course, Neil Donald Walsh gives a real life example of a woman he dated who just abruptly walked away from their relationship when he thought things were going so well between them. He was sure she found another man. Later, he discovered she thought he was the perfect person for her but she had lost 3 people in the past who she felt the same way about so she ran scared. And what he learned from that relationship enabled him to experience the wonderful love he shares with his now wife.
At this point in life everyone has some degree of relationship “baggage” from the past. Including you. And it is really easy to bring that past into your current relationships.
So the question to ask yourself is how are you bringing your past into your current relationships?
When you think about “The One Who Got Away” why do you think this happened?
What does it mean about you?
So how do you set yourself up for dating success in the future?
When you meet a man and you feel chemistry and a connection- stay in the present. It takes time for a relationship to grow. Don’t take it personally if he doesn’t call. It is not necessarily about you. And if he “disappears” it could simply be that he was not ready.
Resist the urge to pursue, convince, or “figure out what he is thinking”.
This will backfire on you.
All you need to do is know what you require from a partner and relationship, know your value and learn how to date for a relationship.
Hold a positive vision for your true love relationship, keep the faith and stay open to love. Your true love WILL come forward and you will see he is so much better than the “one that got away”.
You will know when it is true love because he will keep showing up for you!